


Breaking Some, Mending Some

by Sigynthefaithful



Category: Thorki - Fandom, Thunderfrost - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Car crash victim, LATER, M/M, Other, Sexual Content, beginning based on real circumstances
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:12:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigynthefaithful/pseuds/Sigynthefaithful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For all the blood soaking through the sheets, the face was almost untouched. A pale oval encircled in raven black locks, big green eyes opened large in confusion and dread, looking up towards the white washed ceiling, lips slightly opened, obscenely blotched red with blood welling between them and slowly dribbling on one side. </p><p>*still not good at summarizing...*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters, I only use them as actors on my stage... No profit either, except for your kudos.

Frank Fandrall was laughing, hopping on his crutches through the lobby, surrounded by his cheerful friends. He had surgery on his left knee eight days ago and was already feeling much better, hoping to be released in a couple of days. He was seeing them to the elevators when the doors opened with a hiss and a junior doctor shouted at them to clear the way. Two stretcher bearers were steering a wheeled bed towards the OR block.

The laughter died on their lips.

There were several devices beeping on the bed and an IV bag hanging from a stand, but what caught their eyes was the body connected to all the tubes and wires. Or better said the face...

For all the blood soaking through the sheets, the face was almost untouched. A pale oval encircled in raven black locks, big green eyes opened large in confusion and dread, looking up towards the white washed ceiling, lips slightly opened, obscenely blotched red with blood welling between them and slowly dribbling on one side. They also noticed the bobbing of the throat above the intubation device, as if gulping would ease the discomfort, and tears running down the temples, into the hair.

Was it a girl? Was it a boy? The features were so finely chiselled and the injured person was evidently just a teen, so it was hard to assign a gender. _‘An angel...’_ Thor thought, frozen in place long moments after the disturbing vision disappeared, swallowed by the OR block corridor.

“Who was that?” he asked a nurse who walked out the elevator after the initial hasty group.

“Some unlucky kid involved in a car accident. His mother was driving. A truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit them badly. She died on the spot and the boy’s in a critical condition. He’ll be a hard case, that is, if he makes it.” The woman sighed and shook her head doubtfully.

_‘So it’s a he...’_ Thor thought, but the fact had very little meaning to him. “How old is he?” he kept on questioning.

“If he comes through, he’ll be celebrating his sixteenth birthday in the hospital...“ the nurse said without much hope.

_‘Oh, God!’_ Thor felt odd. His heart was playing weird in his chest and his brain wasn’t doing better. What was so exceptional about that particular car crash victim? Why did he have to know everything about a boy he never met before? Why did he feel heartbroken when he considered the nurse’s lack of optimism? How could seeing someone a few fleeting moments make such a strong but alien impression?

He must have looked the way he felt because his friends were giving him guarded looks.

“Come on, man, we’ll visit again tomorrow! I’m sure everything will be ok.” Sif pulled at his sleeve.

“Yeah, go on! I’ll ask around about your new crash crush. I’ll call you if I have news.” Frank said reassuringly, a small smile on his face.

                                                                                                *

Loki knew his mother was dead. He had touched her while they were still in the car with the one hand he could move and she had no pulse. He was dying too, of course, so, if the stories were true, they would be together again soon. He should stop crying, nothing hurt any more, they pumped his broken body full with anaesthetics and stuff.

Out of nowhere he remembered his father. He never forgot Loki’s birthday and dutifully sent him a post card and a generous sum of money every year to buy himself a ‘little something’. He planned to invest in a new smart phone or maybe a tablet, depending on how generous Farbauti would feel this year and how much his mother could add to the sum. This plan and all the others did obviously burst like a soap bubble, just like their cheap car when the mega truck hit them and sent them tumbling.

He swallowed a lot. Breathing was a strange thing to do now that they circumvent the usual access means. Blood was salty on his tongue and smelled like rusty iron. His mother was dead... Nál would never again pet his hair and give him precious pieces of advice. Not that he would need any soon enough. He thought of things he would never know and feel, mostly because he was too scared to try. Too late for regrets now...

They reached the OR. He was transferred on the table, under blinding lights. A soft, kind voice spoke to him:

“Hello, Loki! I’m doctor Banner, Bruce Banner, and I’ll be your anaesthesiologist. You’re very tall, but lean... I’ll try to guess your weight. Squeeze my hand when I’m right.”

Banner’s first guess was right to a pound, so Loki squeezed the surprisingly nimble fingers for such a short and burly man. He tried to concentrate on the physician’s face since the man had more questions for him.

“I do have to ask conscious patients certain things.” Banner spoke with the same caressing voice and started asking him about allergies, hereditary illnesses, viral infections, latest tests and so on while he injected something in the small catheter on Loki’s uninjured arm. He went on with dizzying questions about school, hobbies and what not while he measured the boy’s blood pressure and added some substances to his IV bag. Loki never knew when -between Banner’s manoeuvring and his own hand squeezes- he fell asleep.

                                                                                                *

Frank only played shallow; he was, in fact, a very reliable friend. Every hour or so he hopped to the ICU and asked the nurses about the car accident victim. He was pleased to have a task to keep him from getting bored again. The nurses found him too amusing and he charmed lots of information out of them. Luckily it wasn’t nurse Romanova’s shift. That one was a tough nut and sometimes gave him the creeps.

He found out the boy’s name and, in spite of the tragic situation, he couldn’t stop a grin. _‘Thor and Loki... this is too funny...’_ he thought. He called Thor to share the info. His friend absorbed his words eagerly.

“So, he’s not out of the OR yet?” he said worriedly.

“No, man, sorry! I’ll keep on watching. It may last longer yet ‘cause he was badly broken. Good thing, though, internal bleeding solved, only fractured bones still to be put together.”

“Thanks pal! And call me again when you have news.”

The operation stretched over five hours. At some moment Frank stopped going back to his ward and remained in the intensive care nurses’ sector nodding off on a chair.

“What are you doing here, young man?” a cool voice startled him.

Nurse Romanova was in front of him, hands on her hips, totally intimidating in spite of the fact she only reached his chest. He forgot all about his bad leg and jumped to his feet.

“Ow! I... I am waiting for a friend to come out of the OR. You know how some people have the postoperative delirium, right? There’s no family to be with him when he wakes and I thought...”

“You thought!” the redhead nurse scoffed. “That would be a first! Besides, I know you just made that up. The Bergels don’t live anywhere near the Fandralls and Loki doesn’t go to your school. Get back to your ward and let _me_ handle potentially delirious patients.” she growled, her glassy glare chilling Frank’s blood.

He knew she had access to the patients’ data, but the fact that she remembered everything was just... scary! He hopped towards the door, but stopped abruptly when Loki was wheeled into the ICU. _‘Jesus! He looks dead!’_ Frank thought. Romanova brushed past him and followed the wheeled bed and Dr. Banner to assist in connecting the patient to the monitoring and other required devices. He didn’t move, just stared through the glass wall between the nurses’ observation sector and the intensive care ward at the booth they steered Loki in, watching the procedures with undisguised horror.

“Is he going to be all right, doctor?” he asked when Dr. Banner was about to leave.

“We certainly hope so!” the man answered with a comforting little smile.”He’s young and healthy and there’s all reason to expect recovery. His state of mind worries me more... Nat! Keep him sleeping until tomorrow. Call me or Dr. Coulson if needed.”


	2. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now, now, honey!“ the nurse says with deep sympathy in her beautiful steel-gray eyes and gently wipes his face. She removes the oxygen mask to help him blow his nose too. It only makes him cry harder and a pathetic wail breaks out of his throat. ‘Mom! Oh mom, come back, take me with you!’ he screams inside his mind and thrashes his head on the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm absolutely overwhelmed with the response to this fic. I hope I'll keep you pleased with my writing and please do not forget to give me a nudge when you feel I'm derailing.   
> Thank you all!

He’s five and scared and he hid under his bed because the shouting was getting louder, and there’s angry fist-punching at furniture and walls, and he trembles while his breath stutters and he can’t remember what he did wrong, why are his mommy and daddy so upset, and this must be his fault again and he starts sobbing silently, hugging his knees to his small chest, on one side, on the floor, rocking himself for comfort while big tears are born between his lids.

It’s worse than when he found a lighter and had lots of fun burning several papers on daddy’s desk until the smell gave him away, or when he discovered ‘cave painting’ and drew bunnies and tramcars and clocks on the walls and on the door, or when he licked the sugar coating off mommy’s pretty red pills, stopping when hitting the bitter core. He still can’t figure out what he did this time.

He must have fallen asleep in his hiding place, holding Fenris, the fluffy golden dragon he’s got from cousin Jarnsaxa for his birthday. The toy is bigger than him and soothes him, it’s like a cuddly warm friend that never chides and never pushes him away. He’s sucking his thumb again, like every time he’s distressed.

“Loki? Loki!” his mother calls and he calls back in a small voice.

She pulls him out gently and he can see her eyes are swollen and red.

“I’m sorry, mommy!” he sniffles, puts his thin arms around her neck and kisses her cheek.

“What for, sweetheart?” she mumbles, kissing the black curls on the crown of his head and wipes his cheeks and nose.

                                                                           *

He opens his eyes, but can’t focus right away. He also doesn’t feel his body as he should; it feels like floating, encased in soft, feathery layers of cotton. He tries to move, he’s certain he moved his toes, but he doesn’t feel them.

“Where’s Fenris?” he wants to ask, but there’s only a husky sound coming out and he coughs weakly.

“Good morning, Loki! How did you sleep?”

He knows that voice, kind, calming, almost hypnotic. Where did he hear it? There’s an annoying, beeping sound too, like...

A whizzing sound startles him and he feels pressure to his right arm. The beeping changes tonality and the pressure slowly recedes.

“Ninety per fifty-five... More saline solution, Maria, please!” the same voice says. “If the BP stays low or falls, ten milligram of Orvaten should do, but not after six PM.”

“Yes, Doctor!” nurse Hill says and dutifully notes on the observation sheet.

_‘Doctor?!’_   Loki can make out his surroundings better now and everything comes back to him like lightning. He sobs and unbidden tears start running richly over his temples.

“Now, now, honey!“ the nurse says with deep sympathy in her beautiful steel-gray eyes and gently wipes his face. She removes the oxygen mask to help him blow his nose too. It only makes him cry harder and a pathetic wail breaks out of his throat. _‘Mom! Oh mom, come back, take me with you!’_ he screams inside his mind and thrashes his head on the pillow.

Dr. Banner breaks an ampoule and fills a syringe. He swiftly empties the content in the catheter still embedded in Loki’s right arm.

Loki starts feeling high, his sobs subside and he stops shaking his head looking absent-mindedly at the IV bag. He smiles at the memory of his mother smiling at him.

                                                                                                *

Frank has been behind the glass wall from the beginning. He tailed Dr. Banner, sneaked in the ICU and witnessed the awakening. There are two doors in the nurses’ sector, one near the exit door and one near the bathroom. When Dr. Banner heads for the exit, Frank creeps in through the other door... if his funny hopping can be called that... He grabs a chair and sits himself by Loki’s bed, well hidden behind the booth’s screen.

“Hi, Loki! I’m Frank. Mind if I keep you company?”

Loki’s dreamy gaze turns at him. He takes in the funny haircut on the blond head, the impish twinkle in the blue-gray eyes and the sincere smile. He tries to clear his throat, then whispers: “Do I know you?”

“You do now, fortunately! You will soon ask yourself how you could live without my dashing company around.”

The ghost of a smile graces Loki’s chapped lips. It is all the encouragement Frank needs and he starts telling stories about his and his friends’ adventurous lives since early childhood.

Although his feelings are strangely dulled, Loki likes listening to Frank’s babble. It’s like listening at somebody reading a children’s book and the story is so very different from his. He’d like to share some of his life, the parts he doesn’t feel compelled to hide, but he has a sore and parched throat. He wonders when he will be allowed a mouthful of water.

“Frank, honey! Since you’re here, help Loki with this. Not all of it at once!”

Frank almost falls off his chair, but it’s only nurse Hill offering him a small bottle of water with a straw in it. He holds it for Loki who painfully swallows a few sips. Then his mobile rings.

“Sorry, man! I have to answer or I’ll end up with more twisted joints! Yo, Thor! Wassup? “

                                                                       *

“It’s almost noon and you didn’t call!” Thor growls and Frank can almost see the frown, the nostrils’ flare and the angry sparks in his friend’s electric blue eyes.

“Guess who’s listening to us?” he tries a diversion.

“Don’t you dare mocking me, Frank, or I swear...!”

“Loki, sweet pea, please try to say ‘hello’ to my heated friend Thor. You’ll be saving my precious bottom and I’ll be forever in your debt.” he says and holds the mobile at Loki’s ear.

Loki clears his throat and manages a croaky _‘Hi!’_ All he can hear on the other end is a gasp. He looks at Frank a bit confused and shakes his head.

Frank resumes speaking: “I take it you heard that... Thor?”

“Was that really Loki?”Thor eventually mumbles in a low voice.

“I’m hurt! Profoundly! Don’t you trust your be ef ef? Be here at three and you’ll see for yourself. Adios!”


	3. What’s this feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's first visit. Not the best outcome, but not the worst either. Hope it's still interesting.

Thor is already pacing miles in front of the hospital’s main entrance, about 20 minutes early before access is granted for visitors. He’s out of his mind with worry. What will he say to the injured boy? What’s the reason behind the visit? The poor thing just lost his mother and Thor is about to impose his uncalled for and unwanted presence on him. What of other relatives? They may visit too and ask questions. Lord, have mercy! What’s he doing here anyway?

Frank calls him at five minutes to three to remind him he has to wear protection overalls, mask and cap to be allowed in the ICU. He unthinkingly buys the items from a machine in the lobby and heads towards the elevators. He stops at the entrance to the OR block torn between the irresistible urge to see _‘his hurt angel’_ and what common sense dictates. He starts sweating and is on the verge of running back when Frank hobbles out and spots him.

“Hey! What’s taking you so long?”

He notices the cramped fingers clutching the green sheer fabric of the overalls.

“Oh, man! Let me help you! Gimme that jacket, I’ll hold it for you or you’ll meet your death in there! It’s hot like hell with all those guys partying in the buff. You come to my den to pick it up when you leave.”

“Aren’t you staying too?” Thor panics.

“ _Lo siento mucho_ , big guy, but the regulations don’t allow more than one visitor per patient in the ICU...” Frank says, but his grin clearly states he isn’t sorry a wee bit.

H e helps his friend as much as he can with one hand and when they’re done, he snorts and starts chuckling.

“You look like some ‘swamp thing’... or the incredible Hulk!”

He grabs Thor’s jacket and bag and swats his bottom with the crutch. “Go on! Keep him busy; tire him with small talk so he doesn’t remember... Don’t worry if he seems a bit fuzzy. They pumped him high with all kind of strong shit. And silence your mobile!”

Thor does as he’s told and opens the door Frank came through. There are two nurses in the observation room, a short, plump lady in her early fifties with a very modern pixie hair cut and a cute young man who wears make up very nonchalantly. Thor reads ‘Isabel Salinas’ and ‘Eli Jordan’ on their nametags and greets them politely.

“I’m here to see Loki Bergel...” he says, trying to sound normal.

“Are you a relative?” the lady asks narrowing her eyes.

“I...ah... cousin, twice removed on his mother’s side.”Thor delivers in one breath.

Nurse Jordan snorts and giggles. Nurse Salinas purses her lips and raises a brow. “You look nothing like a hobbit, young man, but then, neither does Loki... What’s your name?”

“Thor, ma’am, Thor Borson!” he offers, hoping his father’s name is known enough to clear suspicions.

Nurse Jordan stands up and takes his arm. “I’ll take you, _cousin_ Thor Borson...” he purrs, winking at Thor, who blushes a pretty shade of pink at the innuendo. The fact that the small, pretty guy holds his arm with both hands, one gently feeling his bicep, and bumps into him with his hip every step they take, doesn’t help at all. When they reach the second door and nurse Jordan points at Loki’s booth, he is embarrassed enough to forget to say ‘thank you’.

When he reaches the bed, Thor freezes in place and stares. Loki is so pale, his eyes closed and for a moment Thor forgets to breathe. Then he notices the faint movement of Loki’s chest and takes in the beeping. He can also see several tubes coming out from under the sheet covering the slender body, blood and other fluids running into bags under the bed.

He sighs and sits on the chair Frank left at the bedside. He can’t do anything but soak up every detail, like a painter trying to capture a moment on his canvas. Loki’s hair is a jumble of raven locks around his face. There is a small abrasion on his high forehead, a tiny cut in his brow and another one on the bridge of his aristocratic nose. His long, black lashes deepen the dark shadows under his eyes. Thor would take off the nasal canula, caress the high cheekbones, then run his fingertips over the sharp jaw, strong, determined chin, full bottom lip...

_‘Whoaaa! What’s this, big guy?!’_ he admonishes himself in his mind. He frowns and looks further at the long, graceful neck, the closed incision in the hollow at the base of it, one prominent clavicle, one uncovered alabaster shoulder and the arm that lies over the sheet. He reaches out and takes the elegant fingers in his, tenderly caressing them with his thumb. He is overwhelmed with the urge to hold, claim and protect.

He is very confused. He never observed so many details or experienced these feelings, even with girls he liked and had sex with. Never did he think of any other boy in a sexual way. He’s not even sure he thinks of Loki in a sexual way. All he knows is that he wants to kiss those raspberry coloured lips and press that light body to his... He lets his head hang and pinches the bridge of his nose closing his eyes, but doesn’t let go of the thin fingers he fondles.

                                                                                                *

Mom took him to live in another place and Loki was happy it was only him and mom, but wasn’t happy at all with the place. It was a small apartment, there was no yard to play in and he couldn’t have a dog. They had to go to the fenced playground fifteen minutes away and there were all these rowdy children who didn’t like Loki and he didn’t like them back. After he was brutally beaten because he wouldn’t share his sandbox kit and he viciously bit the other kid bloody as retaliation, mom stopped taking him to the playground and took him other places instead. They went to the zoo, at the movies, in the park, to the sweetshop and at the library.

He likes the movies and the library the best because the other people don’t mind them and he has his mom all to himself, even if they don’t talk; they only hold hands and his mom’s hands are always warm and her fingers softly rub his until they get warm too.

                                                                                                *

Loki presses the fingers holding his and says: “Hi!” but doesn’t open his eyes.

The baritone voice that answers startles him and he gasps, opening big eyes to see a... green biped?

“Hi, Loki! I’m Thor...” the voice says and the large biped pulls down the mask covering the lower half of his face to reveal a derpy lopsided smile.

Thor... Which Thor? Oh, the Thor Frank was talking about! The rambunctious leader of the group, weight-lifting and hammer-throwing champion of the district schools tournaments for four years in a row, main cause of swooning attacks among girls from year one to year four and some feeble hearted young men.

He looks at the only thing that’s completely free from the green gauze, Thor’s face. He likes the honesty in the clearest blue eyes he’s ever seen, the strong, handsome features and the reassuring energy he emanates.

“Nice to meet you, Thor!” he says politely, not sure yet if it is nice to meet the guy and wondering what’s with the sudden attention he’s getting from unknown older boys lately. He weakly shakes Thor’s fingers, then retrieves his from the other’s hand.

He looks at the nightstand and tries to grab the water bottle, tangling his hand in the IV tube. Thor is faster and helps him drink.

“Thanks, but I really should be trying to handle myself. There won’t always be somebody around to pamper me.” Loki says and his face suddenly crumples because he thinks of his mom and how she would hardly leave his side, if she was here...

Thor panics. He can’t think of anything to say to turn Loki’s thoughts away from his loss. He resorts to the thing he knows how to give best: physical comfort. He gently cups Loki’s nape and leans forward to kiss the scrunched up forehead and brows. His other hand finds Loki’s fingers and squeezes them soothingly. His lips meet Loki’s hot tears on the injured boy’s temple and Thor feels his heart going to pieces, as fast as the beeping of the monitor.

Nurse Jordan kindly pulls a weepy Thor back to his chair and gives Loki another shot of sedatives. He checks the last readings while he caringly runs his thin fingers with black painted nails through Loki’s curls and seems satisfied. The boy’s sobs slowly subside and the nurse removes the oxygen feeder to wipe his eyes and nose.

“Since I’m here and it’s almost time, let’s give you your anticoagulant.”

Nurse Jordan lifts the sheet and uncovers Loki to his navel. Loki doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind much right now; the anxiolytic works fast and hard.

While the nurse turns to prepare the hypodermic, Thor is lost in the sight. Loki is lean, but not skinny. He has beautifully chiselled muscles and looks like someone who does something for his body. There’s a thick rectangular bandage over the left edge of his ribcage and another over the entire length of the left forearm. Looks like Loki tried to steady himself when the car fell over and broke his forearm and some ribs. Frank told him Loki’s legs are broken too, but he’s afraid to ask how bad it is.

The nurse comes back, pinches a mound of skin on Loki’s stomach and is done in seconds.

“Did it hurt, baby?” he asks smiling.

“I didn’t feel a thing...” Loki says, looking perplexed, while the nurse tucks the sheet back in place.

“That’s the idea, darling. As long as you’re here, we won’t let you feel any pain.” he smiles at Thor too, then leaves them.

Loki turns a pensive face towards Thor. “Why are you here?”

This is one of the moments Thor was afraid of. He tries to start twice, but the air comes out of his lungs with only a puff.

Loki sighs. Thor doesn’t strike him as a leader of anything. He looks lost and insecure and, somehow, it’s endearing.

“Never mind... Thank you anyway... Did you send Frank?”

Thor finds his voice: “No, actually he offered. We saw you when you were brought in and...” he stops because he doesn’t think he can explain what he felt without embarrassing himself.

Loki frowns. He is secretly pleased by the attention, but he finds everyone’s pity quite annoying. “You don’t have to waist your time with me. You may find me... undeserving after you get to know me. Go to your friend and tell him the same. And thank you, both of you.”

Thor looks hurt. His lips twitch and he seems at a loss for words again.

“Won’t you allow me to be the judge of that? May I still visit... please?”he says after a while.

Loki sighs. The oaf won’t be deterred. “Fine! But please leave now, I need rest.”

Thor beams. “K, see you tomorrow, then!” and does again something that baffles Loki, he bows and kisses Loki’s cheek. Then he leaves backwards, grinning like a fool and waving at a Loki that rolls his eyes at the sight.


	4. No place to miss...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the undignified things one must go through when lying on a hospital bed... *sigh*  
> Contains explanations of Loki's condition, hopefully not too technical and boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it has been too long and if the waiting wasn't worth...

It’s quiet after Thor leaves, except for the soft beeping and at regular intervals whizzing of the devices measuring blood pressure. Loki can hear other monitors at work, so he knows he’s not alone in the ICU.  He feels numb, physically and emotionally. He can’t grieve over his loss and he knows why. He should hate the medical staff for psychologically crippling him, but he is numb. He should hate Thor and Frank for their pity, for trying to befriend him, but he is numb. He should hate himself for still living, for being polite and listening to Frank babble, for accepting Thor’s affectionate touch without protest, but he is numb...

The night shift starts at ten and nurse Romanova silently takes over. Her colleague, nurse Liu, is as silent as her and they make a perfectly wicked team. They are accompanied by two evenly matched stretcher bearers.

Loki hears rustling and whispers, but can’t figure out what goes on until they reach his booth after about half an hour.

“Lilac, pine or lemon grass?” nurse Liu asks, while nurse Romanova swiftly removes the sheet covering Loki’s wrecked body.

He stiffens because he isn’t used to such lack of modesty in the presence of strangers or of anyone as it were.

“Pardon?” he says, brow furrowed, trying to figure out the meaning of nurse Liu’s words.

“Pick a scent, sweetheart.” nurse Romanova says and that still doesn’t enlighten him.

“Lemon grass, I guess?” he says, not certain what his choice will bring.

Nurse Liu shuffles around a wheeled shelf she pushed close while nurse Romanova removes the ECG electrodes, the BP cuff and the nose canula. They both grab wet tissues, really smelling like lemongrass, and start cleaning a shocked Loki. Every patch of healthy skin, every crease and interstice is rubbed clean, even behind his ears, between his fingers and toes, underarms, the hollow of his navel, his scrotum and his limp penis and he gapes in horror as nurse Liu pulls down his foreskin to clean his glans. The urethral tube and the drains are still attached, obscene appendages snaking down to the urine and blood collectors hidden under the bed.

His body was shaven clean before surgery, but Loki doesn’t remember it happening. He’s been touched by so many strangers in such a short time after so long knowing only his own feel, that he wishes he could shed his skin like a reptile to regain some sense of purity.

Oh, and this is not the end! Nurse Romanova barks a whispered order: “Up!” and the two stretcher bearers seize him so professionally skilled and quick that he is lifted and supported like a stiff log and the two ladies have access to his backside which they methodically wipe, not shying away from the cleft between his buttocks and from his anus. He feels thoroughly humiliated. He can’t remember ever being so helpless because he has no memories of himself being a baby.

One thought leads to another and Loki imagines Nál bent over a baby changing table, smiling and tickling his mini version, powdering his tiny baby butt and kissing his wiggling little toes. He firmly squeezes his eyes shut to lock up the burning tears threatening to stream.

The ladies change the bed linens and, after checking the epidural catheter, nurse Romanova taps the bed twice. The guys holding Loki place him back on the bed. He gets re-connected to the monitor and oxygen feeder, the nurses adjust the dosage and timing of the anaesthetic infusion pump, attach a new bag to the IV, inject something in the catheter on his arm and he doesn’t know when he sinks into silken, gentle darkness.

                                                                                *

Loki awakens when nurse Hill and nurse Munroe take over in the morning and marvels at the latter’s blue eyes. He has seen people of African descent with green or yellow eyes, but never blue. She adjusts his bed a little and then asks nurse Hill to fluff his pillow while she lifts his shoulders.

The morning visit starts at 07:30 and Loki is properly introduced to the surgeon that patched him up, Dr. Phillip Coulson. The man exudes gentleness and Loki finds he can’t hate him for not letting him die.

“We’ll check the surgical wounds now, Loki, and dress them clean.” he says and smiles such a warm smile that Loki has to smile back.

Dr. Banner is also present and leafs through Loki’s file, brows furrowing at something. He holds the file in front of Dr. Coulson and shows him something. The surgeon nods and says: “Later, Bruce.”

The nurses assist him as he checks each cut and they put on clean bandages after applying Betadine.

“Everything looks good, young man. You were lucky with those ribs, you know? One splinter only grazed your lung superficially and nothing else was touched. Only one joint was damaged and the bones will mend soon with a little help. You may start eating strained soup and compote smoothies, but no fresh fruit yet. You mustn’t worry about going to the toilet; it won’t happen so soon, your intestines have been emptied before surgery. Tomorrow you can try vegetable cream soup, mashed potatoes and pudding in addition. You’ll be walking on your own two feet in no time, you’ll see. We’ll meet again tomorrow.”

                                                                                *

Frank sneaks in an hour later, right after nurse Hill finishes feeding Loki some apple compote. He wanted to refuse the food initially, but they gave him his drugs again and the stuff smelled heavenly of apple and cinnamon so he just couldn’t stop slurping it through the straw until the bowl was empty.

“A feast, I see!” Frank smirks and notices Loki’s file on the shelf behind the bed, near the anaesthetic pump.

He opens the file and takes out the X-ray images. He silently whistles and says: “Did you see these? They freakin’ look like Wolverine’s, man! No way are you going through an airport check-in without special clearance!” he grins and holds them in the light one by one so Loki can see them too.

He would normally be horrified to see so many metal rods, strips and screws in his body, but he is drugged to the point of not giving a rat’s ass. He’s just a little intrigued and he studies the way the surgeon put his shattered bones back together. His left leg looks the worst; the femur is broken to pieces now strung on a long intramedullary nail and there are also two impressive screws holding the femoral head attached. The shin doesn’t look better, his knee a mess of metal pieces and plates going down along the bones and he wonders if his leg will function normally again. The right leg luckily has only a fibula fracture, also supported by an implant. One thing he knows for sure, that no matter what his life will bring in the future, he will never sit at the wheel or in the front passenger seat of a car again.

“Why do you think they went through all the trouble? They could have just put them in a cast, at least some of them...”

“Too many, too bad, too long to stay immobilised, I guess.” Frank muses and keeps reading.

“Put that back! You didn’t ask for permission to pry.” Loki chides, but not with much passion.

“All right, I will...” but he keeps on reading.

“Hey! Ever heard of confidentiality?! I said put the damned thing down!” Loki begins to feel annoyed just a little.

“Okay, geez! Hold your horses!” Frank has seemingly read enough to compile a report for his friends and puts the file back on the shelf.

“Great! There we go! Horse jokes! I greatly missed them...” Loki mumbles and sighs.

“What?! No dude, ‘t wasn’t meant like that!” Frank says, but Loki stubbornly looks away. “Look man, I’m not going to tiptoe around and censor my every word just because you’re susceptible like hell. You should ask Thor! He’s an unlimited subject of weather, hammer and goats jokes, if you ever met one, and he takes them surprisingly well! That is, if you’re fast enough... which I’m not right now...” he muses, but doesn’t fail to notice the faint smile on Loki’s face. He’s content considering the numbing medication Loki’s pumped up with and sits on the chair to do what he does best, that is talk nineteen to the dozen, trying his best to cheer Loki up until lunch time.  


	5. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winds of change blowing in Loki's sails...   
> Also a new actor to the stage those of you who know a bit of Norse myths will recognize ;-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause. I'm emotionally drained by my shitty job. I feel trapped, hence the title.

Loki was still too young to understand certain things, but he understood well what the lawyer told him. He was also taken to see his father under legal supervision. He had to choose between his mom’s shabby little apartment he doesn’t like and the big house full of all luxuries, the big estate where he had mostly dogs and horses to love him, which he had to leave behind when mom decided they had to go away.

He didn’t talk to anyone, he didn’t tell them his decision, he just asked to be allowed to bring Fenris the Dragon in court.

He sat very quiet, hugging Fenris, and listened to the lawyers and then his parents each speak about why it would be in his best interest if he was to be entrusted to their custody. He understood most of the words and those he didn’t he tucked in a corner of his brain to dig out and search for later in the big dictionary his mom bought after he astonished her by reading loudly random fragments of his favourite story book at age four.

Farbauti spoke loud and clear for everyone in the hall to hear, but his cold, grave voice froze Loki and reminded him of the shouting and scolding for doing something or just being in the way at the wrong moment. He looked Fenris in eyes and he could see the same chill.

Nál couldn’t say very much, for her voice faltered and she started to sob when she told the court that, even if her material resources couldn’t match her ex-husband’s, she would offer Loki all her love. Fenris’ black eyes seemed full of tears too... Loki didn’t hesitate, he never really did.

                                                                        *

Loki doesn’t know when he dozes off, lulled into slumber by Frank’s silly prattle. Nurse Munroe wakes him gently and will not be dissuaded from feeding him. She pushes a button and the bed slowly changes geometry, raising his upper body, then tucks a paper bib under his chin and starts spoon feeding him his soup. It’s embarrassing and he tells her so. She smiles and doesn’t answer, just dabs his chin with a napkin and continues.

Loki swallows tears with the last spoons but he isn’t even sure why. He stubbornly turns his head when he is offered mashed potatoes and asks the nurse to leave. He wishes to be alone, but no such luck. Dr. Coulson comes in, accompanied by another man, wearing only an open hospital robe over his dark blue suit and protection for the shoes. Loki recognizes him instantly. It’s his father’s legal advisor, Theodore Thrym. He hasn’t changed a bit, only his hair is more salt than pepper. Even his expensive black briefcase seems the same.

Loki doesn’t want to see the man; he doesn’t want to hear anything this man has to say but there is no way he can avoid it.

“Hello Loki. I’m happy you made it. Your father sent me to take care of everything that needs to be taken care of.”

Loki knows exactly what Thrym means. He is still a minor and there is the matter of legal custody, of the small house his mother purchased taking a mortgage loan, the hospital fee that isn’t covered by insurance and... Oh God! The funeral...

His breathing turns short, he chokes and his eyes roll until only the whites are visible. His body starts convulsing.

Dr. Coulson calls the nurses and tells Thrym to leave and wait for him in the lobby. The man withdraws backwards attentively observing the scene. He bumps into someone on his way out. It’s a tall, athletic young man in green gauze overalls.

“Sorry...” the boy mumbles and passes by.

Thrym throws him an appreciative look. He’s always been fond of handsome, well built young men with muscular rears and thighs... Then he hears the shout.

“Loki! Jesus, doctor! What’s going on?!”

                                                                        *

“...He had some kind of a fit.” Thrym talks into the phone.”No idea, Mr. Bergel...” pause. “I’m waiting for the surgeon to come out.” another pause. “He seems to have made friends here.”

He listens a couple of minutes more, then ends the conversation with an: “I’ll be watching everything closely, boss.”

                                                                        *

Loki is asleep and Dr. Coulson allows Thor to stay on the condition that he won’t wake his patient and, if he wakes while Thor’s still present, he won’t upset Loki in any way. He leaves the ICU to meet Thrym.

“Mr. Thrym, I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

“Oh, no, please! Everything for young Loki’s well being, Dr. Coulson. What happened in there?”

“I'm not sure yet. There was no sign of brain damage because of the accident and no apparent reason for what you unfortunately had to witness. Please assure Mr. Bergel that we will investigate further and that his son will get the best care.” Coulson said.

“I’m sure he will. We are all very grateful to you for your efforts. I’ll see you tomorrow and I hope for good news.” Thrym said unctuously, shook the surgeon’s hand and turned to leave.

Coulson felt the hidden warning. He sighed and shook his head, watching the giant of a man turning around the corner.

                                                                        *

Loki’s bed is still up. The nurses left it like that to help him breathe. He is so peaceful and immobile that he looks hieratic. The only asymmetry is that between his arms: the right one bent over his stomach, the left one lying along his body.

Thor leans forward, props his right forearm on the edge of the bed and very, very slowly rests his other just below Loki’s. He can feel the shallow rise and fall of Loki’s abdomen and he feels reassured. He also feels exhausted. He wasn’t sent away, Nurse Hill asking him to carefully hold Loki’s ankles to prevent him from writhing. That wasn’t difficult and didn’t take long; they injected something in the catheter on Loki’s arm and he relaxed almost immediately. The emotions, the fright tired Thor, so he leans his forehead on his arm and slumbers in spite of the buzzing and beeping. 


	6. Capulets and Montagues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild Volstagg appears.Info about Loki's and Thor's families. Cheese and lemon pie ;-) if you get my meaning. I hope you like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this still appeals to you and thank you for all the encouraging feedback. Have a nice weekend y'all!

Frank is out of physiotherapy and happy. He’s been told he’ll be released next day, but he will have to exercise further and come back for periodical examinations. He calls his friends to tell them the good news. He doesn’t call Thor, though, because he can tell him in person. He knows exactly where to find him.

He finds the corridors strangely quiet, but he’s happy about that. It only means there are fewer emergencies, less injured people. He can let his thoughts roam free, no distraction to hinder their flow.

                                                                        *

At first Frank only thought about his own pain, but, seeing all the suffering around him, he soon felt ashamed. There was this very kind and funny roommate he had, Harry Volstagg, fireman by vocation, who helped him through the first rough days. Harry had a broken arm that needed surgery due to a bad fall while rescuing some unfortunate souls from a burning building. Frank thought he was a weird biker or trucker initially, because the man had this mindboggling curly, red fleece all over his head and face. He was right about one thing; Harry was a member of a motorcycle club.

Frank felt strange at first. He was very suspicious about the massive man doting over him like a mother hen, but then he understood the goodness of Harry’s heart and his readiness to help. Frank introduced ‘Hairy’ Volstagg to all his friends and was a little gobsmacked when even austere Hogun took to the man in minutes. When the 26 year old was released from the hospital, they exchanged phone numbers and promised each other to keep in contact.

Frank now pondered about his new friend and how his influence pushed him towards Loki. It was like Harry’s compassion rubbed off on Frank somehow. Thor’s totally lost look when they first saw the broken kid had something to do with that too. Frank didn’t know what to make of that. He joked about his friend’s sudden crush, but didn’t have the heart to delve in deeper. ‘He’ll open up when he’ll be ready’, Frank thought.

                                                                        *

“Frank, darling! I missed you, you know?” Nurse Jordan grins when Frank enters the ICU.

“Well, I’m afraid you’ll miss me some more, baby, I’ll be out of here tomorrow.” Frank replies smugly.  

“You break my heart!” the nurse sighs with a hand on his chest and the back of the other on his forehead, batting his lashes like a silent movie ingénue.

They both laugh.

“Both your friends sleep, you know? I found them like that when my shift started. They are so adorable I didn’t have the heart to wake them. I’m letting you in, but be careful. Loki got very agitated during a visit and had a seizure. He’ll have a brain scan tomorrow and some more tests.”

“What visit? It wasn’t Thor, obviously. They would have kicked his arse out, right?”

“Ororo told me it was somebody Loki’s father sent, a lawyer. Tall, creepy guy, suit so stiff as if he didn’t drive over here for two hours. Dr. Phil brought him in and he must have said something to shock the poor kid so bad.” Nurse Jordan whispered, carefully looking around.

“I don’t get it! Why didn’t his father come in person? Doesn’t he care? I mean, his son almost died, right?” Frank whispered back.

“I heard a rumour that Loki’s mom had a restriction order against him. I wonder how she got it ‘cause Farbauti Bergel is a very rich and powerful man. He owns ‘Jötunheim Oil’. Half of the rigs in the Northern Sea are his.”

Frank lets out a discrete whistle.

“That’s not good, man! Borson owns the other half...”

“O.M.G! And their sons are sleeping together!”Nurse Jordan says with a distressed look.

Frank snorts. “Do you ever listen to yourself?! Not sleeping together, but next to each other.”

Nurse Jordan shoots Frank a sideway glance. His face tells very clearly what he thinks.

“What?! They only met here!”

“It won’t take long, if you ask me...”the little nurse mutters. “All right, go in, but pull the screens and you owe me one!”

                                                                        *

Loki is awake but he can’t open his eyes. He feels like trapped in a marsh, molasses or some other sticky gunk. There is something quite heavy and hot, but not very uncomfortable on his stomach. He tries to move his fingers to feel what it is and finds an arm and warm fingers which aren’t his. The slight movement exhausts him and he just rests his hand on the unknown, warm one. He feels a pulse in his fingertips but he can’t distinguish if it’s his or the stranger’s. He also hears a soft snore. He slowly remembers things. Thrym... His eyes open wide and he gasps.

What he sees is certainly not real. One evidently amused Frank Fandrall standing behind one very much asleep and snoring Thor, whose head rests on Loki’s bed and whose arm is all over Loki’s waist. No, this is definitely not happening!

 Frank sniggers. “This is so going on Facebook!” he whispers between giggles.

Loki squints. “If Thor doesn’t kill you first, I will!” he hisses through his teeth. 


	7. Sweet Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy long chapter. If it doesn't meet everybody's expectations yet, I warn you there will be heartbreak or angst and smut or porn later. However inspiration hits me. Spoiler: Farbauti's on his way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and "House of Shadows" are draining me and so does RL. Please bear with my inconsistency. And sorry about the mistakes. I love you all!

Loki’s first birthday after his life changed was quite an event. The small apartment got crowded with people he and Nál weren’t expecting to show up after the trial. They were all Farbauti’s relatives and Nál was under the impression they came to spy on her, to nose around their lives.

Loki’s great-uncle Thjazi filled half of a couch all by himself and his lap was permanently occupied with children who got tired of chasing one another in the crammed space. Loki thought that, if Thjazi wore red, he would look like Santa, smiling at kids laughing on his lap while he sang silly children’s songs. 

His daughter, aunt Skadi, brought Loki’s two cousins Jarnsaxa, ten years old, and Angrboda, four years old. The younger one was a quiet little thing who just stared at Loki like he was some amazing creature out of a fairy tale. He felt awkward and he told Jarnsaxa that her sister was creepy. Janie laughed, said that Angie was a weirdo and dragged him by the hand to inspect his gifts. She was one to boss everybody around, just like her mother.

Aunt Rinda helped Nál serving all the guests and was the most warm and kind of the adults towards Loki’s mother. It was understandable since she was also a single mother, but in her case, unmarried. She categorically refused to tell who fathered her now seven years old son, Váli. He was blond and had blue eyes, unlike any of the family who were either dark haired or redheads and had eyes any colour but blue.

There was also aunt Gerd with her five years son Fjölnir who suffered from ADHD. Loki felt an uncanny urge to bite the infuriating kid just to give him a valid reason to bawl.

When they at last left, Loki’s ears were still ringing and the relative silence that followed made him a little dizzy. He was very glad it was finally over and he went to help Nál wash the dishes.

“You made me very proud today.” she said.”You behaved surprisingly well. I think you’re ready for school. What do you think?”

“I’m ready, mom!” he answered and he knew it was a blatant lie in a long row to follow.

                                                                        *  

Frank and Thor were asked to leave soon after Loki woke up because he had to have the brain scan and had an appointment with a psychiatrist right after the procedure. The man asked some routine questions, spoke platitudes, all the boring stuff Loki was so worn to hear before, that he didn’t even care to remember the doctor’s name and shaped his answers as irrelevant as possible. He was in no mood to be analysed and dissected again. 

The evening routine was the same. At least he got rid of the oxygen canula and could wipe and scratch his nose _ad libitum_. He could feel that the analgesic dosage had been reduced, but he didn’t mind the dull aches, they were not even preventing him from sleeping; he still received sedatives and slept better than he had in years.

                                                                        *

Dr. Coulson and Dr. Banner visit Loki again in the morning. They read everything that’s new in his file, including the psychiatrist’s report. Dr. Coulson narrows his eyes and Loki feels skinned raw by the man’s gaze.

“Excuse my French, Loki, but you sold Dr. Barnes a load of crap. I respect your intellect and your ability to outwit a specialist, but are you sure it is for your best?” he asks in the same kind and polite tone of voice he always uses.

Loki turns his eyes away. He doesn’t need to answer that.

Coulson decides to drop it for the moment and says: “Except for a remarkable brain activity, the scan doesn’t show any damage. That’s good. Your family will be very pleased to know this.”

Loki’s face twitches. His lips are a thin, bitter line. The only family member he truly cared about is gone.

Coulson tactfully uncovers his patient leaving the sheet over his privates and asks him to try to move his injured limbs, one by one. His left arm is stiff, but he manages the small movements Dr. Coulson asks him to try. The right leg only stings a little in two places as he moves it almost unrestrictedly. The left leg is something else entirely. Loki’s body starts trembling with the effort of bending the crippled leg at the knee and he only manages to lift said knee half an inch off the bed before he whimpers in pain and exertion. He pants and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to think of nothing.

“It’s all right, Loki! Of course it’s difficult now, but you’ll do better soon. I just wanted to check if the nerves are unaffected. It seems they carry impulses well. Now, grab the handle above your head with your right hand and try to lift your back off the bed.” Coulson smiles reassuringly and so does Banner.

He grabs the handle and grinds his teeth, preparing himself for the worst. It works unexpectedly well, the throb in his left leg numbing the negligible pain in his ribs and arm. He happily shifts his pelvis to put his weight more on the right side and huffs in delight. Lying straight on his back for three days was no thrill at all.                                                               

Dr. Banner asks him to hold on a little longer and removes the epidural.

“Ask for painkillers when needed. Just keep it in your mind that the nurses won’t let you overdo it. I suggest you only ask when it’s really nasty, ok?”

“Yes, doctor!”

“You’ll be transferred from IC tomorrow morning, after the visit, if everything is ok. You’ll be in one of my wards. Oh! I almost forgot! Happy birthday, Loki!” Coulson adds before he covers Loki and leaves together with Banner who also wishes him a ‘happy birthday’.

He closes his eyes a second too late. The tears escape and are running, one on his temple and the other over the bridge of his nose.

                                                                        *

Frank chooses this exact moment to intrude. He has a small chocolate glazed _madeleine_ with a tinycandle stuck in the middle. He lights it and approaches Loki’s bed singing “Happy Birthday”, out of tune. He stops abruptly when Loki grunts a ‘Go away!’ half muffled in his pillow.

“Sorry, man! I know this isn’t a cheerful moment, but it _is_ your birthday... I know how cliché this sounds, but I’m sure your mom would want you to be just a bit happy... Come on!” He says and places the cake on Loki’s night stand. 

He takes Loki’s hand and squeezes lightly, then gently pats him on the shoulder. Loki shoots a murderous glare at him, eyes red and wet.

“What is wrong with you?!” Loki spits. “What part of ‘go away’ don’t you understand? What do I have to do or say so you would get it through that microscopic brain of yours that I have no need for your company, pity or whatever you feel compelled to impose on me? And why the hell do you think I enjoy being touched?!”

Frank raises his hands in defence.

“Whoa! Peace offer?” he says. He can’t take offence when he knows Loki is shattered in more than just a physical way. He won’t be intimidated either. He shoves the small, innocent cake under Loki’s nose.

Loki blows the candle out unthinkingly and looks confused. He toys with the thought of calling the nurses to rid him of the pesky guy, but his mouth waters over the vanilla-lemon-chocolate smell.

“You may leave the cake and make your excuses.” he says, drying his eyes in the most dignified way he can.

Frank grins.

“I will, I will, don’t get your panties in a knot! You know I’ll be released today. But don’t worry, I’ll come every other day for phisio and I’ll drop by to see how you’re doing.”

“Thank you, but no, thanks!” Loki says, but the spite is gone.

His attention is turned solely on the fragrant _madeleine_. He pulls the candle out one handed, takes the cake and gingerly takes a small bite. His eyes roll up while he chews on the spongy marvel. All is gone for a moment but for the heavenly taste on his tongue. He moans before he can stop.

“Foodgasm, what? Good to know you have a sweet tooth!” Frank chuckles.

Loki glares but decides the cake is too good to leave over a nasty reply and keeps munching it into nonexistence. 

“Ok, then! I really have to go now, but don’t be sad. Thor will visit in the afternoon. I’ll be seeing you soon!” Frank says and waves while he retreats.

                                                                        *

Loki falls asleep after lunch again. He dreams about Nál’s birthday cakes, which isn’t so odd after all. He wakes after an hour or so and his inner pain has somewhat subsided. He remembers his fifteenth birthday when little cousin Angie, only twelve, with her plush rust-red curls, almost black, eerie eyes and a deep flush threatening to cover up all her funny freckles, kissed him right on his mouth whispering a hardly perceptible ‘I love you, Loki!’

He wonders if anyone of his family will come by this year...

                                                                        *

Thor appears after eight and Loki hates to admit his disappointment while he thought the big oaf won’t come at all.  

“Sorry I’m late, but Frank’s welcome home party, you know...” he says, his infamous lopsided smile shaping a cute dimple.

“I told you there was no need to visit me. I don’t even understand why you came in the first place...”

“Me neither...” Thor mutters and fumbles with something he brought in a paper bag.

It proves to be a small glass bowl with a plastic cover containing something golden and brown.

Loki’s eyes go wide.

“Don’t tell me it’s what I think it is!” he whispers.

“My mom thought they don’t serve such desserts in the hospital. _Crème brûlée!”_ Thor presents, taking the lid off.

“I _shall_ kill Frank, using the most painful technique I can learn of! I’m sure he told you I‘m a sucker for sweets, didn’t he? It would be so ‘him’ to make fun of me for that.” Loki grimaces, angry for letting them discover a weakness so easily.

 Thor scratches at the back of his head, right under the elastic band of the green hilarious cap.

“He may have mentioned bringing you a cake...”

“So you brought a cream! Did you plan to spoon-feed me, you dimwit?”Loki snarls.

“Actually, yes...”

Loki rolls his eyes and does his best to show his displeasure.

“You guys must have escaped some nearby nuthouse. Are all your friends weird? I’m afraid it’s contagious...” he says, feigning fear.

Thor laughs and it’s a low, warm rumble that does something very strange to Loki. It feels like a tickle inside, but he can’t place it. He finds himself smiling back and that elicits a big blinding grin from Thor.

“You’re really funny when you allow yourself to be.” he comments and drags the chair closer to the bed.

Loki allows Thor to feed him the delicious sweet, awkward at first, but as Thor is getting the grip of it, Loki relaxes and gives in to the simple pleasure. When the cream is half gone he notices the rapt expression on Thor’s face every time the tea spoon disappears in Loki’s mouth and the way he swallows when Loki licks his lips. He feels a blush creeping up his face. This would explain a lot... He decides to tease a little, just to make sure, because it’s hard to believe this amazingly good looking young man would feel attracted to him, especially now that he is crippled.

He sucks on the spoon so hard and unexpected that he pulls it away from Thor’s fingers. Thor swallows hard and grabs the handle. Loki lets go with a wet plop. Thor resumes feeding him, but the spoon trembles lightly. Loki licks his lips more often than needed and Thor’s cheeks go very pink. When they reach the last spoonful Loki moans and watches Thor with half lidded eyes. Thor licks his lips and his Adam’s apple bobs twice before he tries to say something.

“I see you like it... I mean the cream!” he frowns because that was incredibly stupid. “Many happy returns!” he says, hoping Loki didn’t notice what he said before.   

Loki is flushed, but it could be because of the heat. He looks unfazed.

“Thank you and your mother too for the exquisite dessert!” se says.

There is an awkward silence before Thor boldly decides to break it.

“This might seem odd to you, but... may I kiss you?” Thor says hesitantly, then bites his bottom lip afraid of scaring the younger boy.

Loki’s green eyes go round and big, his lips parting slightly. He was right in his assumptions then, but this is escalating fast.

“Why?” he asks after a couple of baffled seconds.

Thor goes poppy red. “Forget it; that was rude of me. Why would you even consider...?”

Loki’s lips move again, almost soundless.

”Yes!” His heart and breath rate increase. He still looks frightened, but also determined. He wets his lips and swallows.

“Are you sure?” Thor whispers.

Loki nods nervously. He swallows again and closes his eyes when the elder teen starts to lower his head.

Thor’s mouth is warm and soft when they touch. He smells of summer hay and ozone and his breath has a sweet scent of pineapple. He gently nips Loki’s upper lip, then the bottom one and then he traces the tip of his tongue over the younger boy’s slightly parted lips. Loki shudders and opens up for Thor. This kiss is nothing like experimenting with one girl or another, mostly feeling discomfited afterwards and thinking the whole sex thing is highly overrated. This is shaking his insides and melting his brain. He mimics Thor’s actions and their tongues slide against each other, warm, slippery and hot. When Thor pulls back, Loki whines for the loss and tries to lift his good arm to stop him.

He commands: “Again!” and Thor doesn’t need to be told twice.

                                                                        *

“What’s going on here?!”

Nurse Romanova is bent forward just a bit, squeezing the bar at the end of Loki’s bed, brows furrowed and lips pressed tight. Just after taking over her shift, alarmed by the patient’s heightening heart rate, she quickly came to check and caught the boys kissing behind the screen.

“What do you think you’re doing, young man? Step away from the bed now, or I’ll call the hospital security!”

Loki frantically waves his good hand. “No, please! He did nothing wrong!” he tries to pacify her. “It’s my birthday!”

“Don’t presume you can play me, sweetheart! That looked nothing like an innocent ‘happy birthday’ peck! I should call the police...”

Loki’s eyes go even wider. “No, no, no, no, no! Please!” he says and two fat tears barely stop in his black lashes.

“I meant no harm, nurse! I’m sorry...” Thor tries too.

“You will leave now and if you wish to visit again, you will bring a chaperone. You will not take advantage of a helpless underage patient!”

“What?! What do you take me for?!” Thor snaps.

The woman just points her finger towards the exit, her icy glare shutting him up.

 Thor looks at Loki one more time.

“Sleep well, Loki! I’ll come back tomorrow.” 


	8. Trip in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is relevant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one's only about the past. My inspiration got stuck there. Hope it keeps Loki more IC and you enjoy it nevertheless. I promise the next one will be back in the hospital.   
> Thank you all for pushing the right buttons! <3<3<3

First year in school started as a nightmare. Classes were bearable because the other kids had to behave and Loki got to learn new stuff. The breaks were something else entirely. The kids ridiculed his quiet attitude, his cheap and worn out clothes, his curly long hair and what not.

“You look like a girl!”

“How come you don’t have a daddy?”

“Did you find that tee in a dumpster?”

“Why are you so skinny? You eat rabbit food?”

“What are you reading? Hey, guys, look! It doesn’t even have pictures! Nerd!”

“You couldn’t hit a ball if it was sitting still in front of you!”

Loki couldn’t bite them. His mom would get very upset if he did, so he slowly learned to bite with words instead. He also started to play pranks on them, like sticking bubble gum in their hair, smearing their seats with fat, pouring salt in their drinks when they didn’t notice. They knew it was him, but they never caught him. They complained to the teachers, but when confronted, Loki would just look at them with his big, innocent eyes and looked like he would start to cry any second, so the adults ended up comforting the poor little thing and berate the other kids for unjustly accusing him.

                                                                        *

Things escalated next year. A gang of older boys, fourth graders, started to bully Loki and take what little he had in his pockets or backpack that they found useful. He tried to avoid them, but they found him because he had no allies and everybody would tell them where to find him. He was afraid to tell on them because they threatened him with reprisals. His mom started to worry because he was suddenly ‘losing’ things. His answers to the questions about school were always: ‘It’s ok, I like it’ so she didn’t suspect he was in trouble.

But Loki was smart and read a lot.

There was a small forest nearby, more like a large park, and he started exploring. He told his mom it was for a science project. She accompanied him twice, but since she saw no larger animals than squirrels, no snakes and almost no people at all, she let him go by himself, but Loki had to promise he wouldn’t stay out for more than an hour, he’d avoid people and never wander in the forest too deep.

Everything vent well. He carefully brought home leaves and nuts to keep the science project cover safe, but his goal was something else.

One day he lost about ten minutes to spy on a couple of teenagers making out and decided it was gross.

After three rainy days confined in the house and a last stroll through the forest, he came home muddy but triumphant. He told Nál he had everything he needed for the project and was done with the forest for now.

His mom worked on Saturdays too and he had the entire house for himself. He prepared everything carefully and cleaned the kitchen thoroughly. He carried out the garbage and hid the results of his work so that Nál wouldn’t find them. She eyed him apprehensively because he seemed happier than in weeks and was even more affectionate than usual.

He had his revenge on next Monday. When the three boys cornered him, he struggled a little for the sake of veracity and even begged: “Please, not the backpack!”

Of course they emptied it and fount a chocolates box. They laughed very pleased with themselves and left him picking his things up. They couldn’t see his gleeful grin.

He went to his class not minding the stinging words thrown his way by one kid or another and was outstandingly attentive and interactive. The second class started and, about twenty minutes into it, there was the shrill siren of an ambulance right in the school yard and all the children jumped off their seats and ran to the windows. There were actually two ambulances and they all saw the three bullies brought out on stretchers, IV bags connected to their arms.

The cafeteria was closed for the next day and all the food was checked out. Nothing was found. Kids were whispering about what they overheard their parents talking about: the three got poisoned somehow, but they were out of danger.

Nál heard about it on the local radio. The poison had a name: muscarine. It was found in various mushrooms...

                                                                        *

“Sooo... you never told me what happened to those kids at school.” she said while they were preparing dinner together.

Loki shrugged and went on setting the table. “It wasn’t that important.” 

“You think? What if it happened to you?”

“You know I don’t eat junk, mom! I only eat what you give me.” he scrunched his nose.

Loki wasn’t even eating much of that at school lately because the three took away his sandwiches or biscuits and fruit and threw them away if they didn’t find them to their liking, just to hassle him.

“So that’s what happened? They say they didn’t find anything at the cafeteria.” Nál went on with the questioning.

“How am I supposed to know what those morons ate?!” Loki said, a little irritated she wouldn’t let go.

“Are they friends of yours?”

“I don’t have friends at school.” he said flatly.

Nál felt her heart twinge. If she had any doubts, her son’s last statement brushed them away.

They ate dinner in silence and, after helping with the dishes, Loki went to his room to read until bed time.

Nál made a couple of phone calls: a teacher, two parents she knew, had them ask their kids about Loki. It only helped her anguish grow. She had the whole picture in her head now. She was almost crying when she stopped in front of Loki’s bedroom. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Loki’s bed was an extensible couch. He was on his back, feet propped up on one armrest, with and opened book in his hands, the only light coming over his head from a night lamp. He turned his head towards the door, brows moving up questioning.

“It’s still early, mom!”

Nál sighed. How could such a sweet child hide such darkness inside? She approached the couch and moved her son’s feet off the armrest. She sat down while he made place. Her shoulders slumped and she covered her face.

“I know what you did and I know why... What I don’t know is why didn’t you tell me anything? Don’t you trust me, my heart?” she said uncovering her face and looking at him with tears in her eyes.

Loki’s eyes went big and suddenly he was in Nál’s lap, sobbing, clinging to her desperately. He tried to say something, but only small wails came out muffled in her shoulder. She rubbed his back soothingly, shushing him, tears running freely on her face.

“I... I didn’t want to upset you! I didn’t want you to worry! I... Oh, mom! They deserved it! I just wanted to teach them a lesson!” he cried out after a while.

“Nobody was really hurt, I was careful! No one had to know!” Loki went on, feverishly wiping Nál’s tears with his little hands and kissing her cheeks. “I can take care of myself, mom! You don’t have to worry...”

Loki was withdrawn from that school as soon as possible and moved to a more expensive one, with more security available. He also started therapy. 


	9. Murky Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other humiliating and painful moments a patient must go through in hospital. Sorry, no Thor today...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was criticism on tumblr regarding hospital AU's, not realistic enough, aso. Please keep in mind that I'm not American, not even close, and the hospital details are very accurate descriptions of my own and other ward mates experiences in the hospitals of my homeland. I will respond to any questions you may have.   
> Also, thank you for being patient, for waiting and still reading. <3

“You can inform Mr. Bergel that there is no brain injury or condition. It was an emotional response and we are keeping Loki on mild sedatives to keep him calm and avoiding repeats of the incident. We are also decreasing the dosage gradually to allow him to regain complete sense of reality in small steps. He is to be moved out of IC today and he will be allowed a mobile or tablet as means of communication and entertainment. I would specifically insist that calls be kept short and away from disturbing topics, as far as possible.” Dr. Coulson says looking Thrym straight in the eyes.

It is quite disconcerting, for the lawyer is used to people lower their eyes when he stares at them, but Coulson’s unnerving gaze isn’t faltering for a second.

 “I hope it will be a private ward; Mr. Bergel is more than willing to pay for the best this facility has to offer. Also, he isn’t very pleased that Loki is allowed so many visits from quasi unknown individuals who may be potential threats. Let’s not forget Loki is the eldest son and heir to Mr. Bergel’s significant wealth. I will see to him having a bodyguard around all times, if you don’t mind, Doctor...” The unctuous but menacing smile is again in place on Thrym’s face.

“It will be a private ward, but for two patients. It’s better for Loki not to be alone, even if the nurses check very often. I think a bodyguard would be excessive, given that we have our own security service. As for the visits, you should inform Mr. Bergel that if they were a threat, something would have happened already. I believe visits from his friends are beneficial. He must be surrounded with all the love and support he can get. They can keep his mind from the loss he suffered and from his injuries.” Coulson retorts, his equal voice making Thrym grit his teeth.

“You put him in a private ward _alone_ , Doctor. We already arranged for Loki’s cousin, Jarnsaxa Ovaldson, who is a certified nurse and physiotherapist to be transferred here. Loki knows her since childhood and she will provide all the professional care and _loving support_ Loki needs, twenty-four-seven. Of course, she will be under your orders, professionally speaking. And, please, consider Mr. Bergel’s worries not as an insult to your security service, but as deep concern for his son. The bodyguard will be here, whether you approve or not, until Loki can be transferred to a private medical facility in the Capital.”

Coulson would punch the slimy, self-conceited arsehole straight in the nose, if that would launch him off sweet Earth’s orbit. He offers a thin smile instead.

“Please tell Mr. Bergel that his concern honours him and that we will be glad to concur, except for the visits. Ms. Ovaldson and the bodyguard are more than enough surveillance to prevent any mishaps, not to mention our own personnel. I would also advise against transfer. Our staff is well familiarized with the case and Loki is accustomed to them and trusts them. A major change would be too abrupt at this point, all to Loki’s detriment.”

The sarcasm is not lost on Thrym. Farbauti wasn’t an active presence in his son’s life, not like a loving father anyway, just keeping an eye on one of his assets. ‘Cause Loki is indeed a valuable asset, his IQ and grades taken into account.

“I will pass on your reservations to Mr. Bergel, Doctor. I hope you won’t feel offended if my employer will wish to have a second opinion and you will wholly support any specialist Mr. Bergel will decide to send to study the case.” He adds, but he doesn’t get the satisfaction of unbalancing Coulson.

The surgeon only smiles pleasantly and stands signalling the meeting is over.

“Any time, Mr. Thrym! Have a pleasant trip back!” He says and ignores the lawyer’s extended hand.

                                                                        *

Loki is mortified. During the morning visit, Dr. Coulson palpated his belly quite energetically and now, after passing gas twice, there’s pressure in his gut. He wishes he didn’t start eating yet. At all. Not even the sweets. Especially not breakfast.

Nurse Hill and Nurse Munroe approach to prepare him for transfer.

“Are you all right, dear?” the first says and puts a warm hand on his forehead, a bit worried about his flushed cheeks.

“You’re not having a fever right when you’re about to leave here...” Nurse Munroe adds, scrunching her brow.

“He’s not. What’s wrong, Loki?” Nurse Hill says when he won’t meet her eyes.

“I... I need... I may need to go to the toilet...” Loki mumbles and flushes even more.

“That’s very good news! But first, let’s unplug you from all these tubes, ok?”

Loki knows it’s good that his gut decided to function normally, but he doesn’t want the bed pan. He surely can’t take a dump lying on the bed!

The draining tubes in his wounds have been removed during the visit. That leaves the IV and... Oh Lord! Loki closes his eyes while Nurse Munroe does something under the bed and then, to his horror, she uncovers him, takes his penis in her rubber-gloved hand and carefully pulls out the urethral probe that collected his urine during his stay in the IC.

He grits his teeth ‘cause the damned thing must have adhered to his inner channel by now, but is surprised to feel it slide out with minimal discomfort. Also... he leaks and can’t control it.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, it will soon be back to normal. You’ll have to wear an adult diaper for the start, but it shouldn’t last more than until tomorrow morning.” Nurse Munroe smiles at him and Loki wants to disappear.

Nurse Hill reappears pushing a wheelchair and has a blue gown draped over her arm and a pair of white socks in her hand. Loki didn’t even notice her missing. The wheelchair seat has a hole in it and is covered with a single use plastic protection. So, it’s not the bed pan after all. Both nurses ease his arms through the short-sleeved thing, his feet into the socks, and he feels grateful for finally being covered... at the front.

“Now, hold the handle and try to sit.”

It’s not so simple any more, now that the anaesthetics are practically out of his system, and he winces in pain. Nurse Munroe supports his back and he pants, sweat breaking over his brow. Nurse Hill puts her arms around his legs, one above and one below his knees and asks:

“Ready?”

She doesn’t wait for his answer and swiftly rotates him so that his legs are over the edge of the bed.

“Now put your arm around my shoulders and hold on tight.”

Loki does and Nurse Munroe comes round the bed and holds him under his armpits. One, two, three and his arse is in the wheelchair. Thank God for the backrest! His ribs hurt like hell and he wheezes.

“I think I need something for the pain...” he complains in a small voice.

“After you bend your legs, okay? Nice and slow with the left one. I’ll help.” 

Oh, no! Loki shakes his head. This isn’t going to work well. His right foot is already on the footrest and he notices that the right one is set higher, but he will still have to bend his knee.

After what seems way too much time, whimpers and tears barely held back and gentle encouragement, his foot is finally in place and he trembles all over with pain and exertion. Nurse Munroe injects something in the catheter still embedded in his right arm and takes his pulse. She brushes the hair off his forehead and smiles.

“Let’s get you to the bathroom.”

Loki almost forgot what the whole ordeal was for.

“I think I don’t need to go any more...”

“Give it a try, al right? I’m sure you don’t want to do this again today.” Nurse Hill says.

 She puts a pack of wet wipes in his lap and steers expertly. The wheelchair fits above the toilet seat and, after she puts on the brakes, she asks:

“Will you be ok on your own?”

“Yes, thank you!” he answers and hopes to God he will. He needs to wipe his own arse and stop depending on others to do it for him or he will die of shame.

“Call me when you’re done or if you need help. I’ll be just outside.”

Loki looks around. The room looks half storage, half toilet/bathing space. He starts checking the items on the shelves to keep his brain away from the ‘task’ at hand and from the mercifully subsiding pains. It works and his gut is finally doing its designated job. The cleaning part is much more difficult, what with all his stiff joints and unused muscles, but he manages it with lots of sweating, grunting and awkward movements. He uses a wet wipe for his hand too, crumpling and rubbing it between his fingers and then he just enjoys a couple of tranquil minutes.

The small window is open and there must be a park or something because Loki can hear birds chirping. He remembers listening to them with Nál, guessing birds after their voices. Before he knows, tears are running down his face and his ribs hurt with his muffled sobs.

Some sound must have escaped though, because there’s gentle knocking at the door.

“Are you well in there?” Nurse Hill asks worriedly.

“Fine! Just give me a moment!” he snarls, dabs his face with the same wipes and now he smells of baby arse, damn!

“You can come in!”

She steers Loki back and there’s a new wheeled bed and two unknown stretcher bearers to take him to his new lodgings. Nurse Munroe gives short and comprehensive orders and he is on his back in seconds, bottom set with utmost precision on the diaper she already prepared. He swallows and cringes when she arranges his genitals without hesitation and fastens the diaper snugly on both sides. Then she arranges the stupid gown, covers him to his chest and places his arms above the covers.

“Are you comfy?”

Loki nods, trying to wish his blush away.

“You’re going to X-ray first, then to your new ward. Take care and get well soon! And don’t make trouble!” she says and pats the back of his good hand.

Nurse Hill places a clipboard with his observation sheets at the foot of his bed, also wishes him well and finishes with a threat:

“If I hear you’re being a bad boy, I’ll send Romanova and Liu to get you!”

He should be laughing with them, but all he manages is a pathetic half smile.


	10. Spy or Ally?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Loki is out of the IC and a surprise expects him in his new private hospital room. Thor and Sif come to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry you had to wait so much. I had an awful writer's block with this one and I only hope you won't be very disappointed with this chapter, because I'm hot very happy about it. It stinks of filler...  
> But I promised two of my most kind readers, so... here it is!   
> Love you all!

Loki has to wait in line for about twenty minutes. There’s one more wheeled bed and several other patients. The young woman in the other bed is apparently sleeping or even unconscious. The dark skinned grumpy man who sits on a bench doesn’t even grace him with a look. The old lady with a walking aid winks at him and smiles. He smiles back. She reminds him of the landlady he and Nál first had after they left Farbauti. She used to slip him goodies when he came back from school and lent him adventure and detective books.

 When it’s his turn, everything is done rapidly and he is steered once more through corridors, elevator, more corridors and they stop in front of room 314. Pi. “The Life of Pi”’ he thinks and snorts. It’s a bitter snort and one of the stretcher bearers asks if he’s all right. Loki nods and they enter the room. His eyes go wide because he wasn’t expecting this!

“Janie? Frank?!” 

“Loki! You punk! How come you never told me you had a twin?!” Fandrall yells and grins at him widely.

Jarnsaxa rolls her eyes.

“Cut the crap, Frank! I’m much older.”

It’s Loki’s turn to roll his eyes.

“She’s ancient, Frank. Don’t let her youthful complexion fool you! She’s twenty; whole four years my senior. That’s... appalling!”

In the meantime, his bed is settled in place and the two men retreat silently.

Janie bends over Loki, grabs his face and kisses him on the cheeks. She touches their foreheads together and whispers:

“I’m so sorry, Loki! I’m so sorry! But I’m so happy you made it!”

Loki scrunches his face trying to remain composed. He doesn’t answer; he only squeezes her arm with his good hand.

“You guys want me to leave?” Frank asks, left standing and feeling awkward.

“Yes!”

“No! It’s ok!” They say at the same time and Janie starts laughing.

“Still the same old charming Loki, I see! Don’t mind him, Frank. He’d rather see _me_ gone!”  

“Fat chance!” Loki mumbles, because he spotted her luggage right beside the other bed in the room. She’s definitely here to stay. He doesn’t mind at all, but they mustn’t know, right?

“Hey! Check this out!” Frank says and shoves something close to Loki’s face. “My classmates and friends bought it for me, but I’ll stop needing it soon, so, if you like it, you can borrow it when you start walking!”

It’s a walking cane, black and sleek, with a silvery handle shaped like a wolf’s head, its eyes two red stones.

“It’s... beautiful, but I couldn’t! It’s a gift!” Loki says, baffled by the gesture.

“Nonsense! I’m sure they wouldn’t mind! I hope it’s the right size.”

“Might be! You look about the same built...” Jarnsaxa considers.

Loki holds his good hand out to touch the cane. The handle is warm from where Frank held it. The movement makes one of the wolf’s eyes sparkle, looking like it winks at him. He smiles a little and says:

“Thank you!”

Frank grins and pats him on the shoulder.

“Ok, then! I’ll leave you two for now; I should hurry to physio. I’ll drop by after!”

After the door closes, Janie drags a chair and sits by the bed. She takes his hand in hers and just looks at Loki with an odd expression. He sighs.

“Cut the silent stare! Just tell me what you know. What does Farbauti plan to do with me?”

                                                           *

Thor is too glad he doesn’t have to wear the stupid green things for his visit again.

He brought Sif with him, wary of the red headed menace of a nurse. Sif couldn’t but roll her eyes and snort when he reluctantly told her why he needed her backup.

“Are you ever going to think with your brains for once?!” she chided.

They once fancied themselves as dating, but it ended with a bloody nose for Thor and an agreement that they weren’t suited to be more than good friends.

“Sooo, you really like him...” she states, looking at him thoughtfully.

Thor sighs. He is a little bit ashamed because nobody saw that coming, the least of all himself.

“I know it’s kind of a sudden, but yes, I like him a lot.”

“Do you know who he is? Did Frank tell you?”

“I know and I don’t really care. We are not our fathers. We may very well never inherit the companies... You know how much I hate the idea and maybe so does Loki. And we both have brothers.”

“So... you think long term. That’s even more perplexing! I don’t know, Thor...  Your dad is not the most flexible man on the planet. Remember how angry he was when we broke up? What do you think he will say when you tell him?”

Thor doesn’t answer. He knows Odin’s opinions on the world too well. He can’t come out; not yet. Odin would rather skin him alive before accepting his son having an affair with a boy. And suddenly it hits him. He _is_ thinking long term. He wants to be with Loki, really be with him, get to know him, his likes and dislikes, his funny little habits, his favourite colours, places, foods... everything. He wants to be there, a shoulder to lean on, to cry on, to laugh on. He never wanted that before with anybody. How did this happen? Why now? Isn’t he too young? Aren’t they both too young? What if Loki doesn’t want the same? His head starts to throb.

Sif doesn’t pressure on. She just shrugs and keeps walking. They are close to the gates now. She stops at a flower stand and buys a yellow rose. Thor wants to buy the whole bucketful, but she stops him.

“One rose is elegant. A bucketful is bad taste. That is if you don’t buy them for your wife who just gave birth...”

They both laugh, but Thor’s is a bit forced. There goes another reason for headaches...

                                                           *

 “Oh, my!” Jarnsaxa says, very low, so only Loki can hear her.

She gawks at the big blond with the blinding smile and sparkly electric blue eyes like she was a flock of rapacious piranhas.

Loki snorts and makes the introductions. Thor introduces Sif and Janie pushes her wheeled bed closer, because there are only two chairs in the room. She assesses Thor and Sif with keen eyes and decides they are not an item. She smiles and winks at Loki while she sits herself a little too close to Thor.

Sif looks suspicious, but she only purses her lips for a heartbeat and decides to give Janie as little attention as she can, without becoming impolite. The woman goes on her nerves.  

Thor gives Loki the rose. He thinks he could kiss the blush on the younger boy’s cheeks all day.

Sif finds a small vase on a nightstand, fills it in the adjacent bathroom and, after Loki takes his time sniffing the sweet scent, she takes the flower and arranges it on the table.  

Thor awkwardly bites his lips and looks only at Loki.

“You feelin’ better today?” he asks and curses the Fates for the chaperones.

“I don’t know... I’m starting to feel everything... I wouldn’t call it better.” Loki grimaces.

“Don’t worry, gorgeous! I’m here to take good care of him!” Janie chimes in. “So, do you know each other from school?” She asks.

“We don’t go to the same school. We actually met here. I was visiting a friend.” Thor explains, taken by surprise with her bluntness.

Jarnsaxa slowly turns her head towards Loki, looking at him with eyes rounded in disbelief. Thankfully, she keeps her thoughts to herself, but the twinkle in her gaze tells Loki she’ll never let him hear the end of it. Later.

“How nice of you! Everything is different in a smaller town, isn’t it? People are more... sympathetic, aren’t they?” She says with a grin.

“They are also more protective and they don’t take any shit.” Sif deadpans.  

Loki and Thor look at each other in undisguised horror. They can only hope it won’t come to bloodshed.  


	11. Father Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected visits. The plot thickens. Thor is furious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I was caught in RL troubles and another dear fic. I hope someone still reads this. If you are, enjoy! I love all of you, me hearties! :3

“Admirable qualities! I suppose they’ll be useful once you leave here, but honesty doesn’t pay off much in a big city these days.” Jarnsaxa deadpans.

Both Sif and Thor eye her distrustfully.

“Guys! Please! Janie and I have quite the history together. If I ever had an ally in the family, it was her.” Loki says and wonders why they worry so much. He was a total stranger until these few days after all.

“Sorry... “ Thor mumbles and shoots the dark haired young woman a coy glance.

“You could buy me coffee some time, to appease me.” She says with a sly smirk.

They spend some time talking about childhood funny moments, Janie and Sif both managing to embarrass Loki and Thor in turns, finally finding common ground, until there’s a knock on the door.

Jarnsaxa goes to open it. She stiffens with her hand on the doorknob.

“Uncle Farbauti! Hal, Bill!” She greets in an unsteady voice. “We weren’t expecting you!”

A tall, broad shouldered man enters the room slowly. His almost white hair is slicked back, not a single strand out of place; he wears a designer’s dark blue suit with a crispy white shirt and a silver tie. His ashen blue eyes are cold as ice and they all notice the pinkish paleness of his skin and the cream coloured lashes and brows. Aside from two deep lines at the corners of his mouth his face is smooth as a sheet of paper.

The two boys accompanying him didn’t inherit his albino complexion. They both have dark auburn wavy hair and warm brown eyes. The younger one sticks the tip of his tongue out at Janie from behind his father. Se purses her lips.

“I’m sure you didn’t.” The man says in a low, smooth voice and it sounds like a menace. “Good afternoon, son! And who do we have here?” He turns his laser gaze towards Thor and Sif.

Janie bites her lip. The man clearly intimidates her.

Thor takes a step forward and extends a determined hand, looking Farbauti straight in the eyes with a piercing gaze of his own.

“Thor Borson, sir! Nice to meet you!” 

Farbauti’s pupils widen and he looks down at Thor’s hand like it’s some disgusting tentacle. His hands are behind his back and they stay there.

He turns towards Jarnsaxa and asks in the same tone of voice, only a little louder: “What is the meaning of this?”

“They are Loki’s friends...” She starts in a placating tone, but he interrupts her rudely.

“Loki Bergel doesn’t make friends with a Borson!”  

Thor opens his mouth to say something but Loki is faster. He grabs the handle over his bed and pulls himself up.

“You don’t come here telling me what I can or can’t do! You lost that right ten years ago!” He spits, his clear green eyes glowing angrily.

“I beg to differ, young man, since I’m the one who’s paying your bills!” Farbauti sneers.

“You can shove your money up your arse! I’d rather be taken to a children’s home!” Loki yells.

“You don’t get to have a say in this, not with your mental history. I’m your legal guardian now and you will do as I say!” Farbauti growls. 

Loki swallows and lies back slowly. He knows Farbauti can and will institutionalize him if he doesn’t obey. He knows many stories about his father and how he gets what he wants in the end. He never lost, except with Nál, and now she’s gone... 

“Sir, you...” Thor starts.

Farbauti turns at him and shouts: “Out! Get out of here before I call security!”

Thor looks like he wants to hurl himself at the man, but Sif grabs his arm and drags him away.

Loki looks the other way, tears pooling in his eyes.

                                                                       *

The room is eerily silent after the door closes. Suddenly, the older boy takes his younger sibling’s hand and approaches Loki’s bed.

“Hi, Loki! I’ve wanted to meet you forever! I’m Helblindi, I’m eleven and this is Byleistr, he’s eight, but call us Hal and Bill, won’t get your tongue in knots.” He says and tries a genuine smile.

Loki doesn’t want to know them. He never did. He never gave them much thought in the past. But now they’re here and he will probably get to live with them. He gathers all the politeness he can muster, mostly because Nál would surely ask him to and extends his good arm.

“Hi! Nice to meet you!”

Both boys shake his hand, Bill a little awkward, like he doesn’t shake hands often.

Farbauti seems pleased, if the stony mask he wears means that. At least he’s not frowning or something. He turns towards Jarnsaxa. She swallows.

“I wonder what you were thinking, letting the Borson spawn close to Loki?” He says and waits, eyes narrowing.

“I actually wanted him closer to myself.” She answers quickly. Some truth may prove useful and she knows Farbauti can spot a lie from a distance. Let him develop the idea by himself...

His smile is nothing if not sinister.

“Oh! I see! Clever girl! I knew you may be of some use to the family after all. What can I say? Keep cultivating this... acquaintance, but make sure he continues believing I’m strongly against it.”

Loki pretends he is paying attention to his half brothers, but doesn’t miss a word.

The kids are really sweet and Bill is absolutely in awe with this strange big brother and all the metal they put into him. He asks many inane questions, but Hal seems to be in the habit of answering them all the time and so spares Loki from having to answer himself.   

But Loki is tired. He aches everywhere, now that the adrenaline rush is gone and the pain relievers gradually leave his body. He’s been surrounded by people since the visiting hours started: Janie, Frank, Thor, Sif, his father and his younger siblings. He can hardly understand what’s being said around him and his lids are heavier and heavier by the moment. All he wants is some peace and quiet...

Jarnsaxa notices Loki is dozing off. She takes Bill’s hand and guides Hal by his shoulder away from the bed.

“My main function here is to care for Loki, Uncle. We can go out and speak some more if you wish.” She says.

“No, it’s fine. We’ll visit again tomorrow. You stay here. I have things to attend to and catch up with Thrym after I take the boys back at the hotel. We’ll be staying a couple of days.”

                                                                       *

Thor is seething. He and Sif met Frank on the halls and Sif informed him of the latest development. Frank thought it better not to visit Loki again today.

“Nobody seemed to know Bergel meant to visit Loki. It was quite the shocker!” she says.

“The gall he has! You should have let me punch in his arrogant nose!” Thor bellows.

“Oh, sure! And get you arrested for assault and who knows what other repercussions! Your dad would have been exhilarated!” Sif says.

“Thor! My very reckless, tall and handsome friend! What about Loki? Do you want to be able to see him again?” Frank asks.

Thor sighs. His friends are right. He must learn patience. That’s what his parents always preach too.


	12. How Did This Become My Life?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin and Frigga.  
> Loki and Janie are too much alike to have a civil relationship. Loki swears a lot!  
> Video of Thor training - self explanatory.  
> Some Loki alone time. Not much quality alone time, but still...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus. Even the best laid plans can (and in my case will) fail. Thank you for putting up with my unreliable posting schedule and please enjoy! *shares cookies and cake* Feel free to point out mistakes, I didn't proof read it. Thank you!

“Farbauti Bergel is here?” Odin bellows. “What the hell is he doing here?”

Hilda, his PA, opens her mouth to say something, but Frigga is faster.

“His eldest son, Loki, suffered a car accident and he probably came to visit. Poor boy lost his mother in the crash...”

“How come you know all these things?” he asks with a suspicious frown.

Frigga rolls her eyes.

“You know Frank, Thor’s friend, had surgery? They met the Bergel kid in the hospital.”

“Aaand?” Odin insists.

“You can’t expect the kids to hold your grudges! Or me, for that matter! That unfortunate boy needs friends and compassion!” She says glaring at him intently.

“Well, he has his father here now...” Odin starts, but is rudely interrupted.

“A father he hasn’t seen in ten years! I can’t believe we’re having this discussion! You will not scold Thor for being a kind human being and that’s the end of it! I care nothing for your cold war with Farbauti Bergel and I forbid you to pass it on to our sons! Besides, Loki is family! His great-uncle Thjazi was Bestla’s cousin, once removed on his mother’s side.”

Odin raises one brow, but thinks better of saying something he might regret. His wife is the sweetest woman on Earth, but she is not to be trifled with or crossed. The mere mention of his departed mother, Lord rest her soul, gives him the shivers. Frigga seems more her offspring than him.

He may be unhappy with this ‘friendship’ thing, but he may become unhappier still if he says or does anything to jeopardize it. Let the son of a bitch Bergel do it! Let him bear the brunt of Frigga’s displeasure!

“Darling, I have nothing against it. Who knows? Maybe the new generation can bring peace at last. But I strongly doubt Farbauti will let that happen...” He says, shrewdly pushing his wife’s rage towards his archenemy.

Not shrewdly enough, it seems, since Frigga purses her lips and glares at him like she reads his thoughts.

“Nice try! But let’s say I believe you for now. Let _me_ handle Farbauti if necessary.”

Hilda looks at her shoes and looses a breath she’s been holding. Odin may be the boss, but Frigga is _his_ boss. Hilda wouldn’t ever want to land on her bad side. She kind of feels sorry for Mr. Bergel...

She gives Odin the reports and writes down instructions for the day. The boss’ wife makes short, insightful comments here and there and Hilda wonders why does he need a PA in the first place, since Frigga is the best suited for the job. Not that she complains! She loves the job and it pays better than she hoped for.

They are done quickly and Hilda leaves, thinking fondly of her lunch break. She is to meet her sweet teddy-bear of a boyfriend, Harry Volstagg, and she made them her famous turkey and pickles sandwiches with home-made light mayo Harry likes so much. She loves to watch him eat like there’s no happier man on the planet.

                                                                       *

Járnsaxa is stubborn and relentless. She won’t give in to Loki’s moans, grunts, protests and dying whale noises while she works with him.

“This has to be done! Your muscles need this or you’ll get stiff. It will get better every day, believe you me! No worries, I know my job and I know it’s not too much! Lift up! Good boy! One more!”

“I hate you!” Loki hisses through clenched teeth, brows scrunched in pain.

“You’ll thank me later, baby! Up and hold! Count to five!” She says, while helping him with the exercises.

“You enjoy this, don’t you? Now I understand why you picked this job! You are a fucking sadist!” Loki grunts while sweat runs _everywhere_ and the stitches sting.

The tablet on his night stand pings.

“They are pretty mild work outs, actually! We start walking with the aide in two days! Keep it up! The sooner we’re done, the sooner you can read your messages!” She spurs him on.

They aren’t done soon enough but Janie finally helps Loki lie down and mercifully gives him painkillers. She even wipes his face and neck with minty cleaning towels and it feels so good he sighs in bliss.

“Hand me that tablet, will you?” He asks, eyes closed, basking in the relaxation after the ‘torture’.

“Excuse me?! You tell your dad to buy you a slave! I’m not paid for this!” Janie cocks a brow and Loki has to laugh at how much they truly resemble.

She gives him the tablet nevertheless and sits on his bed with half her bottom, one arm draped over the head rail.

“You’re crowding me!” Loki says, uncomfortable with the warmth of her hip pressed to his shoulder. “Besides, my mail is a private business!”

“You can’t handle the tablet one-handed, you prissy cat!” She huffs and takes the device, holding it for him. “I promise I’ll pretend not to look.”

“Pest!” He says rolling his eyes.

“Jerk!” She deadpans.

Loki checks his mail. Helblindi sent him some hilarious school jokes, to raise his levels of serotonin, he writes, and Loki has to admit they are well chosen. He and Janie snort and giggle while they read and Loki remarks that his younger brother has some level of intelligence and sense of humour.

“You have no idea! Wait until you know him better.” Janie winks.

The next one is from his father and Loki almost doesn’t open it. Janie chides him, so he does and is glad he did. Farbauti excuses himself for not being able to visit today because he has to take care of some deal or another. Loki tries hard not to think about his mom’s house, about his mom in general, but of how grateful he is he doesn’t have to see Farbauti today.

Then he opens Sif’s who asks how he feels and if a visit is in order later. She adds she might bring friends along and ends with a winking smiley.

Loki grins because he understands she’s writing on behalf of Thor, and types ‘Fine, whatever!’ in response, earning an elbow from Janie.

“Rude, man!”

“What?! You don’t even like her! And I’m not the eager type!” He makes a face.

“You mean you don’t want to _seem_ the eager type!” She says and pokes her tongue out.

“Fuck off!”

Then it’s one from Frank, with a little video attached. It’s titled ‘Eye Candy’ and Loki crumples his forehead asking himself what it could be. He hopes it’s not some porny stuff because Járnsaxa is watching over his shoulder.

“Come on! Open it!” She nudges him with her hip and Loki pushes ‘play’.

He wishes he didn’t. It’s a video of a training session. _Thor’s training session_. At discus, shot and hammer throwing. He wears tight, knee length black pants and a blue tank top. His hair is gathered at his nape in a bun. The concentrated look on his face makes him look older and the electric glint of his blue eyes makes Loki shiver. But not only that: every muscle on Thor’s incredible body works knots under his skin and is visible under the painted on outfit. There are some voices cheering him on and, whenever he’s happy with a throw, he grins blindingly and shouts out to his boisterous friends.

Loki isn’t aware his mouth is agape until Janie groans: ”OH. MY. GOD!” and taps the re-play button. She starts to pause the video and comment the stills and Loki feels his face turning red and his ears burning.

“Look at those arms! Look at those legs! Killer abs! Pecs to die for! Neck porn! Oh, mamma! I’d murder for that booty! Fucking look at the freakin’ boa in his pants! Slap me, I’m gonna swoon!”

“Geez! Keep your knickers on, will you?!” Loki says disdainfully, even if he almost drooled himself.

He is not unaffected. He is in fact very much affected, thank you, and Janie’s blabber doesn’t help. It makes it worse. Loki feels all tingly and his blood flows way down, between his thighs. He is fully hard in seconds and it’s beyond uncomfortable. He didn’t feel like this even when Thor kissed him, but it must have been the anaesthetics. He thought himself fairly indifferent to sex drives until now...

He shuts the tablet down and snarls: “Enough entertainment! Help me on the chair; I need to use the bathroom!”

Janie grins suggestively.

“Sure, honey!”

Loki pulls himself up on the hanger and she helps him slide onto the chair. It’s a good thing the hospital gown is wide and shapeless, but Loki is sure Janie noticed the bounce somehow.

She steers him and places the chair over the toilet.

“Need more help in here?” She asks with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Get out! I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Loki barks at her.

“Take your time, sweetie! It can’t be easy in your actual state! And don’t bother to clean up; they have people paid to do that!”

“Go fuck yourself!” He shouts when she closes the door.

“I might do just that! What’s the password to your tablet?” She shouts back through the door.

Janie hears Loki grumbling something that must be more swear words. She has to teach him more, ‘cause it seems his vocabulary in this particular area is limited. She giggles to the thought and turns the tablet on. She tries _‘Thor’_ , but nothing happens. She hums. Of course Loki is smarter than that. She picks up her phone and calls Frank. She’ll have a copy of her own.

                                                                                  *

Loki hears Janie speaking and assumes she’s on the phone with someone because he didn’t hear the room door open. He struggles with the toilet paper and unrolls a shameful amount, gathering it in a shapeless messy clump the size of a cereal bowl. He looks at it with a lost expression, then stuffs it under his injured arm. He pulls the stupid gown’s hem up, folds it once and bites on it to keep it up. Normally he would have flagged down by now with all the aggravation, but... Thor. Glorious, perfect, gorgeous hunk Thor... in tight clothes... leaving very little to the imagination... Golden Thor with his bright smiles and unbelievable blue eyes, low, deep voice...

He tries to hold the paper wad between his trembling knees. He stuffs a bit under the thigh he can move better and it finally stays in place, a barrier to catch... Oh, God! How embarrassing is this?! He bites the material between his teeth harder and starts stroking fast to avoid spending too much time in the bathroom. He closes his eyes and his brain provides flashes of Thor pirouetting, hammer whizzing around him or placing the shot near his neck, under the jaw, arm bent, muscles bulging, or bending and twisting his upper body in an incredible display of flexibility to give the discus momentum...

He breathes hard through his nose, chocking on suppressed noises, his broken rib panging like hell, but he is too close now to stop and he suddenly remembers Thor’s lips on his, the kisses they shared and the moment he imagines Thor’s hot, soft mouth sucking on the tip of his cock, he comes hard and almost misses his target.

Luckily, most of the jizz is in the paper clomp and some is splattered on his thigh, not on the chair or, even worse, on the floor. He sags against the backrest, still biting on the gown, and it tastes awful, of whatever nasty detergent and disinfectant hospitals use, so he fights the sluggishness and cleans himself superficially with the paper –which he throws into the toilet–, pees and then goes as thorough as he can with wet wipes. He cleans his hands last, hides the saliva spot on the gown in a fold and calls for Járnsaxa.

She comes in and checks him quickly.

“That was fast!” She comments.

“Fuck you!” he spits, still flushed in the cheeks from the exertion.

“In your dreams, baby!” Janie grins pushing the chair back in the room.


End file.
